I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
