All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize