I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
