are you still at the devil's house?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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