it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
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literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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