Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
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at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
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Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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