Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
