Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
