i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
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I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
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We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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