I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I wish you could order shots online.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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