just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
