if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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