I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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