And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
