ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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