Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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