Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
