The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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