pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
