Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
