i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
