Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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