Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
