Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
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It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
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Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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