Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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