Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
