They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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