i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
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She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
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Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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