Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
