Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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