dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
