it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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