If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
