we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
