grandma shit on top of the toilet
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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