i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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