and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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