She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
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Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
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I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear