Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  You kept calling me your small dog last night.

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  (201): You kept calling me your small dog last night. http://tfl.nu/02jw
  Replies (6) Good night (859) Bad night (2889)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger

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  (540): I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger http://tfl.nu/crtx
  Replies (37) Good night (4318) Bad night (815)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Im watching someone hooking up in the library

  (970): View more from Colorado

  procrastination at its finest

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  (307): Im watching someone hooking up in the library (970): procrastination at its finest http://tfl.nu/d7sa
  Replies (19) Good night (6205) Bad night (759)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux

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  (618): the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux http://tfl.nu/x72r
  Replies (13) Good night (7736) Bad night (958)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month

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  (601): We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month http://tfl.nu/d8l1
  Replies (25) Good night (5475) Bad night (1168)
• Favorite

  (+81): View more from

  Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me

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  (+81): Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me http://tfl.nu/yr11
  Replies (28) Good night (4490) Bad night (896)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.

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  (760): I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned. http://tfl.nu/ynjo
  Replies (7) Good night (987) Bad night (3396)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.

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  (250): I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not. (250): A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop. http://tfl.nu/aiao
  Replies (13) Good night (1319) Bad night (723)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.

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  (479): My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman. http://tfl.nu/mmis
  Replies (5) Good night (1691) Bad night (398)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.

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  (360): Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home. http://tfl.nu/g7t7
  Replies (8) Good night (1630) Bad night (646)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.

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  (720): Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress. http://tfl.nu/3c0t
  Replies (4) Good night (1476) Bad night (476)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.

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  (502): I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch. http://tfl.nu/8g67
  Replies (5) Good night (1041) Bad night (536)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.

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  (619): He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft. http://tfl.nu/kmfz
  Replies (1) Good night (324) Bad night (749)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.

  (1-720): View more from Colorado

  I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.

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  (720): His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home. (1-720): I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that. http://tfl.nu/5b3q
  Replies (23) Good night (1698) Bad night (555)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Agreed.

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  (610): Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises (267): Agreed. http://tfl.nu/uh2x
  Replies (0) Good night (748) Bad night (245)

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