Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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