Texts From Last Night

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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?

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  (216): Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon? http://tfl.nu/iu1h
  Replies (19) Good night (800) Bad night (1472)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"

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  (816): She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore" http://tfl.nu/r6vm
  Replies (71) Good night (8465) Bad night (1043)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.

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  (514): Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta. http://tfl.nu/sa2y
  Replies (42) Good night (14611) Bad night (1086)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy

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  (678): she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy http://tfl.nu/57ze
  Replies (17) Good night (6151) Bad night (1311)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome

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  (402): I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome http://tfl.nu/kwzn
  Replies (13) Good night (6070) Bad night (972)
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  (716): View more from New York

  You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.

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  (716): You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy. http://tfl.nu/mzkt
  Replies (9) Good night (3169) Bad night (1068)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.

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  (818): You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato. http://tfl.nu/nu5y
  Replies (4) Good night (1350) Bad night (1194)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.

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  (917): She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for. http://tfl.nu/k05b
  Replies (7) Good night (3716) Bad night (669)
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  (707): View more from California

  you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?

  (1-707): View more from California

  yeah, you wanna come?

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  (707): you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store? (1-707): yeah, you wanna come? http://tfl.nu/465p
  Replies (9) Good night (1735) Bad night (661)
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  (619): View more from California

  That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.

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  (619): That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions. http://tfl.nu/77kt
  Replies (2) Good night (1463) Bad night (481)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.

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  (312): Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom. http://tfl.nu/3sxn
  Replies (8) Good night (601) Bad night (1236)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again

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  (+44): tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again http://tfl.nu/n6kd
  Replies (29) Good night (1989) Bad night (623)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.

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  (330): As yoda would say; A bitch, she is. http://tfl.nu/vx3o
  Replies (3) Good night (1061) Bad night (368)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  "YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple 

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  (717): "YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple  http://tfl.nu/x0fq
  Replies (3) Good night (554) Bad night (253)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  you take my contact solution?

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.

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  (248): you take my contact solution? (1-248): drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride. http://tfl.nu/mr4a
  Replies (4) Good night (348) Bad night (692)

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