She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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