a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
