If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
