Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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