i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
He had one of those small greek statue penises
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
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