Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
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I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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