i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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