My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
