So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
