I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
