She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
