i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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