Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
