there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
