maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
