She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
So much Jack, so little girl.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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