I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
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who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
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Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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