But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
My ATM looks so different sober.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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