had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The struggles of a small town man whore
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
